


Foretaste of Beauty

by jesterlady



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-02
Updated: 2011-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy's thoughts during Spike's speech in the Gift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foretaste of Beauty

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS or the title. The first line is from the show.

“ _…I know I’m a monster. But you treat me like a man and that’s…_ ”

She stood there and looked at him. He wasn’t asking her for anything, but what he said made her long to grant his unasked request. It wasn’t that she might not want it or didn’t think it was possible, but she couldn’t.

Dawn was about to be sacrificed. Dawn wasn’t even the Dawn she knew. Giles wanted her to kill Dawn instead of the skanky hellgod who was going to destroy the world. Tara’s mind had already been destroyed. Her mother had just died and left her. She was on the rebound. Also, she really needed to figure out who this person of the Slayer was supposed to be and exactly what it meant for death to be her gift.

There was too much in the way. It wasn’t just an invisible barrier keeping him from entering the house and it was more than the distance between her on the stairs and him at the bottom. It was circumstances and people and nature and really lousy timing. None of which was insurmountable eventually, but not now. Now there was no time.

So she looked at him and tried to tell him without words, without actions. She had neither of those to give. Instead, she tried to communicate the possibility without giving hope. She gave him all she had in that moment, just as he had her. It wasn’t much and he didn’t press, she knew he understood. There was too much between them to ever let them come together, but now he knew that was the reason.


End file.
